#like... i literally cant
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Some days, AuDHD is neat to me, a blessing, the source of my superpowers.. some days it's fucking annoying. I'm still not over being told "don't burn out" in a meeting, or a conflict starting because I miscommunication and it sounded like I was *blaming* someone for something being confusing when I was just trying to explain the situation (person a said this, person b said that, the official documentation is split, this is indicative of a bigger problem with how our documentation is suffering under the latest crunch and it's going to get worse if the deadlines keep getting shorter)... and that led to an argument.. and that led to an rsd nightmare and now I suddenly can't read SQL which is one of my best languages and it's been like 2.5 hours... and neuroptypical folks couldnt possibly understand this all if I tried to explain and there's no real solution that doesn't make me seem like a liability, so I just need to work twice as hard when my brain does let me, which will exhaust me more, and the cycle will continue and it's all just SO inconvenient...
#adhd#autism#audhd#adhd problems#there are some downsides sometimes#im so tired#i was doing fine#i was going so fast#and now i havent gotten anything done in hours#and i cant#its not that i dont want to#like... i literally cant
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The remorseful player
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#deltarune player#deltarune vessel#utdr#comics#goomyart#once again tumblr gets it early#my test group befor ei post on twitter#anyway#hi. different player interpretation here#i guess kind of inspired by like#people looking at my prev player stuff and saying ‘id never treat kris like that’#which isnt the point but like Whatevar#its not supposed to be entirely literal#so instead i present to you: the ‘good’ player that would never say those things to kris#and yes kris still cant bring themself to like you#Because you are controlling them. it doesnt matter how good of a job you do#lack of autonomy is everything.#without freedom what’s the point of it all?#‘why arent you happy? your prison cell is so nice!’
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it#like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!!#but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image#misery and pain. you know how it is#my post
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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i think hes so funny
#transformers one#transformers#ratchet#bumblebee#b 127#elita one#elitas like “i cant hang out today i got a dentist appointment”#and bee is just like “its ok i can just come”#"what the hell#LOOOL#that one friend who will literally do anything with u#my goat who needs to be included and everything all the time#he doesnt even have a job 😭#“ur job is being by my side” “HELL YEAH”
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i would love to be john price's (141's) little bird.
(afab reader, you're lowkey a housewife, g/n pronouns, this was also a lot longer than i meant it to be-1.2k words- and i also wrote it entirely in class)
part 2
just the cute little thing he comes home to after long missions; ready to give him anything he needs to fully enjoy his time at home. barefoot and wide-eyed waiting for your bear of a husband to return from his long hard mission, keeping him fed and fucked as much as he needs. and he just loves you so much-- so much that he needs to show everyone how good you are for him.
it's not like he sets out to rub it in, but when his sergeant mentions not having anyone waiting for him at home-- john just can’t help but invite him over, you always talk about how much you love taking care of him, adding another man shouldn't be a problem! and what kind of captain would he be if he didn't take care of his subordinates?
and you aren't complaining! you love when john lets you see into his job! and gaz is just so sweet, saying please and thank you, offering to help clean the dishes, and politely refusing any leftovers even when you all know he has no food to go back to. so, you just have to keep inviting him over, night after night. and he's so good at conversations, even when he and your husband talk with all their military jargon, he makes sure you understand all of it; you just want to keep him in your house forever! so you kind of do…
you can't imagine making him go all the way home to his cold and dark apartment, it's so far and you know he's tired from his month of constant action-- so suddenly kyle has a bedroom set up right next to yours (close enough to hear how john thanks you for being so good to his sergeant, and just maybe a hand goes down below his waistband) a fully stocked bathroom and a place to put his shoes when you all come back your occasion dinners out. (they're dates, you don't think it but they do)
but kyle is not a man so stay silent about his blessings. you're too nice, too pretty to not tell soap about-- and trust john isn't going to complain, and he knows that you won’t either. 'the best roast i think i've ever had' and 'knows exactly how to make a man feel at home' and soap is not one to stray from his desires.
so you end up with your boys, and a bubbling scotsman in your dinning room with no warning. and you're upset, no one told you that you had to make more food and now there isn't enough to give everyone your usual heaping portion- and there is no way you're letting anyone go hungry in your home!
so you end up bouncing around the kitchen, trying to whip something up before the main course finishes in the oven and who but soap offers to help you out! he's got a hand on you at all times (two on your waist when you're chopping the onion, he just wouldn't know what to do with himself if you got hurt making him dinner. so he has to hold you steady, he has to run his hands over your hips keep you stabilized-- don't think too much into it, just stay focused on chopping bonnie)
and soap knows that he can talk for hours, but he can't help it when your eyes light up when he mentions his childhood in scotland and his missions around the world. and your small flinch and frown when he talks about getting hurt. their lass just can't help but worry about them. he just can't stay away from his captains sweet bird-- not when you send him off with a steaming pile of leftovers and a tight hug (pressed against him as hard as you can because you don’t want him to go)
johnny, a man to brag, never shuts up about how it took kyle three months to get a room but it only took him two. (sometimes when he comes back from the bathroom in the morning he can see into your room as you're getting ready. and he doesn't mean to do it but your panties are his favorite shade of blue and they look so amazing on you-- he wants to see them up close so bad.)
and so he tells ghost of all his troubles- unasked and randomly the next time they got sent out. and does ghost really care about johnny's playground crush on their captains bird? yes. how had he been left the only one not getting home cooked meals after being sent out? is he going to say anything about it?
not a chance.
so it takes a little while before the final place at your dinner table to be filled. but after a particularly grueling mission (and already wishing to come over), ghost is finally convinced he belongs with the rest of his team.
and you've never been happier to make extra food; you've been hearing for months about the illusive fourth man of your husband's battalion but having him stand in your kitchen with a cute little store bought dessert was certainly worth the wait. ( 'Ah didnae ken ye liked pink that much, lt' 'it was all they 'ad, can't show up empty 'anded, johnny')
and is he a little awkward and standoffish, of course-- years of military pressure will do that to a man!
and simon is just too sweet, even if he doesn't know it. he's pulling your chair out for you, and running out in the rain to collect the mail that you'd forgotten all about. he even lets you drag him to the grocery store during your weekly trips. (it's not dragging, he'd follow you into the pits of hell if you'd asked him too so the grocery store is really not a big deal.)
everything is just so perfect when all of your the boys are all in the house together!
and suddenly everything in life makes sense again. that plate that you can never reach on the highest shelf in the kitchen, a body is pressed against you as simon leans over you to grab it leaving you with a squeeze to your hip and red face. the gossip that your husband just never understood in the way he should is studently being told to kyle over coffee every morning as your other boys roll out of bed. the soap opera that you rope johnny into watching every thursday night becomes facemasks and wine time.
and john just loves it. he just loves you so much; loves the way you smile at kyles flirting, loves how you cuddle up to johnny on the couch, loves how you let simon hold you so close when you make his tea in the morning, and he just loves teasing you about it. (teasing? yes. making you face the fact that you want your husbands men to run a train on you like a whore. also yes.)
i wanna keep going but i have to let it end at some point
#call of duty#cod#i am so mentally unwell about them like i need it so bad#i would literally be a housewife for them#plz let me find four military men that will dote on me and take me around and fuck me until i cant walk ever again#cod x reader#cod x you#john price#john price x reader#cod smut#soap x reader#john soap mactavish#john mactavish x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader
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New au just dropped.
Jk just a random thought.
Also happy newt years
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#crossover#tmnt crossover#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2003 raph#tmnt 2003 leo#tmnt 2003 bishop#sketch#dawg i was so tired trying to draw today#i need to take a break; but im literally cant stop the drawing 🎨#oh boy oh boy#au idea#turtle babies#turtle tots#rottmnt turtle tots#cadjlf au#cadjlf#clones are different just like family#clones are different just like family au
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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.
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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.
the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)
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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:
Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?
Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:
Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???
Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?
Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!
Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now
Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that
Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?
[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]
Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.
Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)
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And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.
#jason: are you sure your boss wont be mad?#jeremy: he's only mad like 50% of the time im sure we'll be fine#jeremy: also we hate working for him.#jason todd absolutely treats his employees well u cant convince me otherwise#dick after the mission: the HELL was that??#jason fondly: just my goon children. im so proud of them for moving onto weapons trade instead of drug dealing :)#dick: that man was older than you. pretty sure most of them were older than BRUCE#jason: dont disrespect my family like that.#dick: Jason IM your family. i was literally held at knifepoint during your little reunion and you did NOTHING#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#dc comics#incorrect quotes#headcanon#crack#fanatical posting
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★
☆






sobs
#art#su pink diamond#su pearl#su rose quartz#verviellet#steven universe#OK OK SO THIS TOOK LIKE 6 HOURS. HELP.#I WANTED TO SHOW THE SPEEDRUN BUT IT WAS TOO LONG#Also i crashed out so in the middle of it are violent drawings and then back to normal#wanna know why#BECAUSE I CANT DRAW ROSESSSSS#FOR THE LIFE OF MEEEEE.#I WAS SO MAD I WAS FUMING ISTG#I LITERALLY OMG. IT BOILS MY BLOOD THINKING ABT IT#THE FLOWERS ASIDE PEARL LOOK TOO MUCH LIKE SUCCULENTS BUT I DONT CARE IDC IDC IM DONE#anyways :3#i went to bed at 11pm.#its 1:47am now and im finally done#sighs#anyway this has been in my gallery for a bit. i alreadh gave a sneaky peaky on my other acc#toodles chat!! gn!!#su bismuth#if you squint bismuth is there
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#cassandra cain#batgirl#cassandra cain batgirl#dc#dc comics#comics#comic#youtube#undertale#toriel#i asked blue who in dc would be a streamer and they said “the flash” “which one?” “both”#other than the fact that jason was canonically a supervillain streamer. but cass wouldnt do this with him#she was literally constantly nerve striking steph in batgirl 2000 she would 100% nerve strike toriel in frisks place#i have some other ideas about gamer cass but i like it better if its mostly of-the-era ie shes playing gamecube.#i think she would be intrigued by dating sims but she (at the point im at) still cant read so. her gaming options are a bit limited#cant decide who she would main in smash bros melee (2001) so if ur reading this and have suggestions drop them in the tags#2025
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toxic yuri this toxic yuri that. and just when you think it couldnt get any crazier they break out the spinning piano
#i like cant emphasize enough that this is a five min clip but every five min of the show is like this. the devils mask im 😭#god. like its SO unserious and i am laughing rn but also extremely serious how did i forget this was the scene she confessed in#oniisama e#rei asaka#no one worry about the doll thing its fucked up i promise#nanako misonoo#this was literally the scene that made me go ahahaha what the fuck are we all doing here lol upon first watch#dear brother#riyoko ikeda
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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My shaylas my world. they’re everything
inspired by this recent art of them (specifically the 3rd pic) https://x.com/7o_1ki/status/1909699903821087104?s=61

#artists on tumblr#illustration#fanart#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#knh fanart#maomao#shisui#xiaolan#did u know i cant draw shoes#did u also know that i went insane over the shimao handholding#n the way maomao was literally staring at shisui’s hand#taking my final breathsnon my deathabd#PLSSS brign them back bro omg💔the withdrawal gonna go so crazy esp once s2 finishes#XIAOLAN AT LEAST NEEDS TO COME BACK LIKE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE#this series has never been the same ever since she left
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okay i almost never address the very small amount of internet fame i have. and sometimes yes it sucks. people often repost my work, or clip it out of context, or flat-out steal it. but like it can be very funny. once a follower dm'd me to say a guy on hinge was pretending to be "inkskinned", and actually had even started his own insta. when she said "i've followed her for years i don't think you're her", he said - actually r.i.d is like seven people, we just made those initials up. (rude). when i found his insta and messaged him, he begged me to just lie and say he was r.i.d because "it's hard for men to date."
once someone said she should be allowed to plagiarize my work because she was a body-positive influencer and that if i "made a big deal" about this and "got her cancelled", i would be doing damage to my own community and i was never "actually" an ally.
i bear these things with the aura of a martyr, the way my catholic father raised me to. i message privately. i handle things quietly and quickly. i do not complain because i am very, very, very, very blessed and i know that. mercy and gentleness literally pour out of me every morning when i wake up, and then i have to mop the floors for how very Good i am.
however today is the first time i have ever had a very specific problem that neither requires me to correct this person nor throw them to the dogs but is somehow worse than years of hatemail, reddit thread death threats, and pinterest reposts:
someone quoted me and just got it, like, a little wrong.
#. like#she got 80% of the quote right. and i could say something. but she got the gist of it right?#and - i literally cant stop pacing. like she's not wrong. but like?#this is obviously a joke by the way !!!!!! but it was surprising to me that even tho im practically#Invulnerable to all Psychic attacks#..... it's the neurodivergence bc i want to correct her so badly but i can't correct her bc that would be mean#bc she's fine !!!! and she seems sweet!!!!!!! but!!#im aware this is not an issue by the way this is very clearly tongue in cheek#also the r.i.d thing made me laugh when he said it for a lot of reasons#legally my last initial is actually p. which would be problematic from an initial standpoint#as i either have rp#which feels like i'm saying Roleplay#OR i have . well. RIP. so u can imagine why i couldn't use THAT#luckily since im hispanic my name is the longest thing in like 23 parts so i just chose#a different (kinda in the middle) part of my last name#i had options in this btw i just did the math and i had over 20 ways to do my initials#to be deleted probably unless the people Crave the Small Internet Fame Stories
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me when yellow lighting
#still cant figure out how to draw everyone else#i mean no shit lmao they are clones#but also i wanna make them kinda distinct and it is a process#also i was gonna give echo prosthetics but then i drew it and went#this literally looks like overwatch i cant do that to him#star wars#the clone wars#tcw#arc trooper fives#tcw fives#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#tcw echo#they all look the same#aviiart#domino twins#he is t minus 5 seconds away from elbowing fives in the face
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ok so did anyone else jump at the lore potential and imagery and symbolism of joel walking down a long narrow corridor to a red door he created to end his series completely of his own volition only for the trap to not work and embarrass him in front of the spectators who were all watching at the time btw. so he just had to go off and kill himself with ender pearl spam. anyone else
#like ok. symbolism cancelled i guess#but also it was so insanely fucking funny like joel never change oh my god#bonus points if you are also a tma fan and started thinking about the spiral. you get it. not anymore though hashtag failwizard#like thats sooooo embarrassing i love it. imagine winning but youre so cringefail you cant even kill yourself with your own trap so you just#have to start literally throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks (will kill you)#wild life spoilers#trafficblr#elfy talks#life series#life series spoilers#life series smp#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#wild life#wild life smp#mcyt
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